asphyxiation

2006-09-10T10:37:00.000+08:00

hey people i'm sorry but in the future, u guys have to click *here* for my blog...because i'm an old fart and i forgot my password for this blog..i'm currently using my brother's account to access here. hehehehehe...

2006-09-08T19:16:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU

sometimes i really feel that way, i wanna hit you, wanna hurt you till you understand the pain i'm going through...I wanna slap you till you wake up! please,!! for my sake!! understand me will ya!!! As we sat there for hours, both were quiet, we know there is nothing left to say. No words could ease the anger and confusion in our minds. When i finally found the right words to say, i blocked my mind, i can't say it...it came to a point where i know whatever i'm about to say won't make him understand..Therefore,i've learnt to shut up and just let things be...

There was so much anger in both of us..even when you put your arms around me and kissed me ever so softly, i still hated you. Sometimes when i think about us, i really can't place a picture of you and me in our future..and yet, sometimes i couldn't imagine my life without your presence. It is so damn hard because we are total opposites! So different...But deep down i know how you felt towards me..i felt it so deeply..and that is when i know we can put whatever happened today aside and cherish what we have now...it started off with the stupidest thing ever..GAWD!!!

..:I love you with all my heart and soul:..

2006-09-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

OOohhh....Aaahhh

I drank myself to sleep yesterday night cos i was upset..couldn't sleep..ughh..drank beer..i hate alcohol..silly monster, always out with friends,no time for me...was feeling quite emo also..you know la, i'm a sucker at drinking..one can of beer is enough to make me drunk..wahahahha! I can sleep so well throughout the whole night! Wonderful... *hehehehe*

I wanted to go on strike yesterday, i planned not to answer his calls or reply his smses..mana tau, i'm a sucker at that too! saw his missed calls and sms, beh tahan, i called him back a.s.a.p. See? i'm lousy, can't stay angry for long also...haih..thats why always kena bully le..

Sunway Pyramid with the *gang* today! The gang meaning me,mojo,viv,ying,niklas,grey and ryan le..my beloved classmates..ahahahaha usually we see each other everyday, but semester break for two weeks, we miss each other,hahahaha so we met up! Was suppose to go ice skating..i haven't been ice skating for 5 years already!!! But then the other girls all don't wanna skate, so what we do? We went hunting for food! so typical..hahahaha And KENNY ROGERS again...mac and cheese again! yea yea..FATTENING.

Ever watch SNAKES ON PLANE? storyline was sucky but snakes action all okay le..It was nice at the beginning when the snakes attack the passengers on the plane..then..it got downward cos it's damn expected that the few main people in the movie didn't die...got kinda draggy too.. blah.
I wanna watch THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA!!! stupid TGV doesn't have it.

Anyway, as we were walking around, we saw this cute car all decorated in pink and fluffy stuff..so damn cute!

Fluffy!!!!

The back of the car!! i like the disco ball!

HAve i mentioned that i'm getting fatter>? yes,i think so? prove?
SEE???? my face is is fatter!!! Arghhh!!!!

2006-09-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to *anonymous*

okay, i figure i should just give you the directions here..hahaha

IF I"M NOT MISTAKEN,

it is a straight road to damansara perdana if you are coming from the highway right,you'll pass a condominium on your left..a row of shophouses as well, go all the way straight until you come to a last junction where you can turn towards the shophouses...that'll be your left bythe way. And then there's is a mamak restaurant on your right and look up, theres CATS WHISKERS!!
There's usually a soya bean white van parked on the street..Oh and the mamak is a corner lot yeah! But i really can't remember the name of the mamak..hehehe

If the above directions can't help, then you should just follow the square...the shophouses are a square and there is this complex situated right in the middle wan..

Hopefully you'll be able to find it kays!!

2006-09-05T18:31:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday, i said i wanna be alone and blablabla...but i went out today..hahaha just for awhile le..cos i left my mykad with fitness first..and doreen accompanied me..teehee

miss jane, the person who was guiding me through the document process, told me she couldn't find my mykad! Then she opened this drawer full of mykads! hohohoho but nope, mine wasn't in it.It took her about 10 minutes to find it..my fault also le,cos i left it there for almost a week already.

And then we're off to lunch at kenny rogers!! haven't been visiting that favourite of mine for alomost 7 months already..whoa..hahaha love love love their mac and cheese!! stayed for a little while then had to rush to pick my bro up from school.And i bought pointy pointy heels!! yay!! half price until i cant tahan not to buy!

On the other note, i'm sure all of you heard that the Crocodile Hunter guy passed away yesterday right? Honestly, i didn't like his shows at all cos i thought he was being over enthusiastic. And also because i don't fancy animals..it's sad that he died so suddenly.

Okay..come, happy things,

A little gift from wai kit..cute

I like polka dots!!!

2006-09-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

I'M BORED OUT OF MY MIND

well yeah..can't blame anyone cos i'm the lazy pig, not wanting to go out at all..thinking of the long distance drive to pj..or midvalley,or subang..it just kills any fun la..i've been eating and sleeping ALOT! thats the only thing i've been doing since holidays. Should look at me now,i'm humongous! from the waist down le.. i don't remember my lower body being this huge..i mean, i have gone through the days when it's huge la but not this HUGE...i gotta start eating properly..cos now, i eat almost every hour..huhuhuhu

Monster is out...this time he and his friends drove to ipoh..feng tau it seems! hahaha *probably drive up there for fun only le* And he's driving back tonight itself..sometimes he really make me worry..silly boy...*miss him*

I wanna be alone this few days..dont feel like going out or finding my friends..sometimes i feel annoyed that i'm thinking this way but i cant help it..people and people relationships make me think that everyone who communicates with you wants something out of it..i give some,you give some,she gives some,he gives some,they give some...some of anything..money,respect,advice,help..when is a person ever being true to you? or themselves? sometimes you feel like its genuine, then to find out later that there are alot of promises to make,to keep up to...basically alot of crap...i wanna zone out in my own world for awhile..i wanna be stuck in my novel,into their world and stay there for as long as it takes..

don't worry,nothing's happened..i just want my time to be with myself...
lotsa love..

2006-09-03T08:25:00.000+08:00

its been a ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!

birthday at RUSH! everyone was there already(they were punctual for the 1st time,LOL) and i hate letting people wait for me (cos i hate waiting people too) so i hurry myself and drove like a mad cow and almost rammed into a few idiotic drivers... plus it was drizzling a little and my contact lense got kinda blur...a bad start to a happy day...all the way in the car, i knew something bad's gonna happen,but thank god i reached esatin hotel safely. Then i was wondering why it was so empty outside,usually there will be a bunch of people hanging around at the entrance. And when i went in, the music was lousy and things only started to heat up about 11.30pm.Maybe cos it's a friday..i've never been there on a friday..hurm...i wasn't feeling as hyper as usual..and i got tired very fast..i didnt dance the whole night!! Usually i don't even sit down for 5 minutes! But that night,i sat down alot..to be accurate, i think i shall use the word STONED. yeap..i STONED almost the whole night. i was a goner! especially after the flaming lamborghini! (thanks to mojo's friend) I remember slutting with mojo's friends,viviane,and strangers. A love bite from viv...and explaining to do to monster..Hahahahaha

Towards the end of the night, all of us were at the dance floor swaying to the slow songs. And when i got back to our seat, our handbags were gone!!!!! (mojo's,viv's and mine) PANIC la!!!! i quickly run down to my car to check if it's still there!!! i don't care bout anything else in my handbag..as long as my car is still there.I stayed with my car for god knows how long and finally mojo's friends found our handbags back. WHOOOOOOoooo.

And then we decided to makan in murni...kelvin's car crashed into a pole pulak. So there, bye pole, bye car...i felt bad cos i kinda felt that it's my fault...bummer...

Went back to monster's house and he got unhappy with me about my handbag...and other issues..slept at 5am..and woke up every half an hour..finally really get to doze off at 11am..when i woke up, we made up and things are good again...sigh..i'm sorry dear..for the misunderstandings.. hehehehe

Was suppose to have dinner with my girls but i canceled it cos i was feeling way too tired and drained...i also realised my ic is missing and then remembered this morning that my ic's with FITNESS FIRST..i'm so careless..

ahhh..i lazy go gym already...i dont think i wanna go anymore...huhuhuhuhu

2006-08-31T09:09:00.000+08:00

MERDEKA DAY!!!!!!!

everyone had plans yesterday night ..even my bro went out okay...bummer..
hahaha its not that i cant go out but i really didn't wanna be stuck in a jam and smashed within the crowd. So i relied on my beloved astro to keep me company till 2am..hehehe

Was suppose to work my ass out yesterday and today...but both thia and reen can't make it..reeny, next time come home late call your mom ok..see? now mom not happy you cant accompany me pulak...

Simply because i haven't been to a gym for so long and then sudeenly work out so much, i over worked my body and now chest muscles and my inner thigh's muscles are aching badly..yea, u can guess that i'm walking a little *kangkang*..LOL damn the weights on macho machines..heh.

Dee (thats what i call my dad) is on leave today..he rarely have leaves so he decided to bring mom and i for some hi-tea in sunway hotel...yay!!! its been years since i went for any hi - teas...LAter...

huggs...

2006-08-30T10:46:00.000+08:00

CHEATED...BOO!

i had to send my bro to his friend's house this afternoon...i thought it was nearby..he told me it was near his school *SMK SAS*. So i drove and drove and drove...ask him where, he said a little bit somemore..i swear i drove for almost half an hour..it turned out that his friend's house is a corner away from old klang road...huhuhuhu...so FAR!!!

How come everytime you come around
My london london bridge wanna go down like!
LONDON LONDON LONDON
wanna go down like
LONDON LONDON LONDON

ahahaha that was the song both of us sang to on the road!

he can be sucha bitch sometimes *loves*

and then i headed down to DAMANSARA PERDANA, visited Cats Whiskers!!! my fav boutique!! but i didnt see much that i like..those that i like are all last pieces... =( When i thought i couldn't get myself anything, i suddenly saw a turquoise off shoulder top!!! happy sial!!! looking for that kinda top for months already!!! yipee!!!

can't wait for FRIDAY!!!! wahahahahahahahahaha

*****************************************************

TIRED > STRESSED OUT

thats exactly how i felt yesterday...tired physically and mentally of all the things thats been going on lately..i was looking forward to happy day this weekend but bahhhh...with all the misunderstandings and drama, i don't feel like going anywhere...except to my baby's place and darlings.. *cynthia,reen,mel*

i really cant understand some people's way of doing things. I'm glad i'm not that way.

By the way, FITNESS FIRST is a better gym than CELEBRITY FITNESS. In my opinion anyway..their changing rooms and bathrooms are way better than CF's. And i prefer the environment in FF. Not too many people and spacious..Even though CF's group classes are more interesting and fun, but it doesn't matter la cos i'm not interested in those classes anyway...i'm more interested in their macho machines..heh. My body is aching like hell..and i hate cardio workouts... =(

Today, nothing to do.....wanna go gym and pump those muscles but reeny and thia can't make it..maybe i'll just go shopping la..yeaps..alone! i love shopping alone!! makes me feel free to spend like hell! cos if i went with other darlings of mine, they'll either spend more than me and make me feel dissatisfied or one of us will end up liking the same thing and then have to compromise...hahahaha sorry ya babes...hurm..

2006-08-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

SHOCKED

yes thats right! Yesterday, my mom called the house..i don't usually answer the phone..cos no one calls my house phone looking for me. But my maid was outside (daydreaming probably), so i answered the phone..and mom said
*i bought something for you...* (she was speaking softly and slowly)
*heh..u called the wrong person is it?* LOL that was my reply to her and she laughed! Plus, she said *bye* before she hung up..

First of all, mom rarely speak softly to me..she usually talks very loud, or she doesn't talk to me at all..

Second, she never says *bye* to me to end our conversation on the phone... she would just hang up..

And third, she bought something for me???!!! it's ridiculous!!! (my very first thought)

Those who know me personally knows that mom and i don't get along ..so it's kinda a shock to me that she was being so nice...plus i haven't been talking to her for at least 1 week already!

okay, so this was a little something that she present me.. =)

At first sight, i thought it was a halter top..it would be nice if it's one...

Even though its a small gift but i'm happy she thought of her daughter..at least a sign that she still cares... *emo already*

Today, was assestment day!!! which means FCA 18 (my beloved class) is officially on holidays for 2 weeks!!!!
To celebrate our hard work and time the past few months, we went to NEWAY (dunno if its correct spelling)!!! was singing our lungs off!! hahaha . The food there is way much better than REDBOX wei...they even have salad buffet...and ice creams!!! happy happy happy

Don't know why but i seem to lose interest in clothes now..maybe cos i haven't bought anything for almost 6 months now..yea...believe it.. all the clothes and stores look the same to me..the same kinda style, feel...nothing extraordinary...MOjo wanted to look for heels today so Viv and i tagged along..and i ended up buying a pair of shoes in months!! possibly close to a year! *gasp*
nothing expensive or branded...i just like the beads and sequins..btw, doreen have the same shoes...hehehe i didn't buy it on purpose la...my feet was hurting badly with the heels i was wearing..damn desperate to change into something comfy..

it felt so good not wearing heels..hehehe

FITNESS FIRST tomorrow morning!!!!! gotta sleep now...if not tomorrow sure pass out..

2006-08-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

.: i miss you :.

2006-08-26T19:38:00.000+08:00

THE DRAMAS *beware*...lotsa negative emotions from me in this post

okay..i'm not in a happy mood wrtting this now..first of all, yesterday..i was suppose to take pictures of my projects throughout this semester and pass it up in a CD on MONDAY. yesterday was FRIDAY. And my stupid brother HAD to get to my nerves...Tiu..damn pissed..

i specifically told him that i need the camera on FRIDAY. Initially, he wanted to use the camera because he's going out with his friends and not coming home for the night...he wants the camera to cam-whore with his friends..see? young kids nowadays..sigh...it's fine if i didn't need to use the camera...but taking pictures of his friends and himself..and needing the camera for my work..can you sensible people judge which is more important?!!! the latter right??!!! D-U-H

but NO...this guy..he took the camera from my bag while i wasn't looking and went to bed..the next day..as i was looking for my camera...i couldn't find it and i KNOW i put it in my bag.. i remember saying to myself that he wouldn't do this kinda thing..it's too selfish..

can't find the camera..called him ... it was 9.30 am
he of course, was still sleeping...
i screamed at him...demanding why is he being this way?
i am SSssssooOOO upset because i can't hand in my work because of his selfless act
and also because i couldn't believe he actually did that to me...arghh!!!!
he didn;t apologize..instead..*you need the cam to take pics of your art only wert...*
OMG...i totally can't think of anything else to say to him after that.

Alright, moving on, my birthday is around the corner and i wanna celebrate with my friends..wanna have a good time...believe it or not, this is my first birthday that i'll be celebrating with a whole buncha people.The past years was with family or just one or two friends to accompany me..so..it's only natural that i'm so excited over this year's birthday. i invited friends to go clubbing..and some wanna go elsewhere..some don't know if they wanna go..usually,if one person doesn't go,the other person won't go and so on..at the end of the day,nobody will go..thats fine with me..(those are the guys btw)
we girls like to settle things the fast way...we don't do things last minute..
my girlfriends are with me from the beginning...since it's so damn difficult for the guys to make up their mind about where to go or whether they wanna go anot...whatever...then don't come la..
i don't get why is it so difficult to make up their minds..

stop asking me who's confirmed going and who's not..because i don't know..why don't i know?
because when i ask the guys, they said they dont know..therefore..stay don't know forever la..i dont care!! if wanna join, just show up..if not, blah...!! we'll be there anyway, so , doesn't matter..

and questions like who's gonna pay? the guys or what?
OMG....since when do girls pay when we go clubbing with the guys? i don't know about other guys and girls out there but i have never come across a girl paying when entering a club.
Come on la...*sek cho* abit can ah...

Anything la...whatever it is, i will have a great time with my girlfriends..
i'm not gonna let some people spoil my day over stupid issues..
i'm not mad at them..i just...loss of words...seriously..

Yesterdy night, a girlfriend smsed me, asking me if i told anyone that she influenced me smoking or offer me a cigg..she said she heard that i told people that.
Lets make things clear...nobody influenced me smoking.
and yes, she did offer me ciggs but so did 10 or more people.
*to my girlfriend,i'm sorry if i made ppl misunderstood*
smoking...it's a choice..i made a choice taking the cigg, i made a choice puffing it.
it has nothing to do with my girlfriend..
and all this crap doesn't matter anymore because i haven't touch a cigg in almost 2 weeks.
and i intend to stay that way...smoking is a past..my past
so whoever is it that made my friend upset, let it go...

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo
all out in the open now..hate me or love me. =)

2006-08-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

THE EXACT SAME ONE

yeaps...i was browsing through other people's blog and i came across this girl who has the same layout as mine...i know her la..was from the same college last year...y la? so ngam wan..hahaha but i dont intend to change this layout so soon...let it linger for a few months first!

check out thi song>>>>> TURN MY HEAD by LIVE
a great song!!!! love it

as i was browing through my friends' blogs...i realised how much i don't see them anymore..the only people from high school that i still keep contact with is DOREEN and CYNTHIA and MELISSA...hmm...i kinda miss the guy friends..crazy bunch..*smiles*

currently listening to SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE
another song i love my MUSE!!

monster's always out,
always busy,
always doing something,
arghhhh.....

how is that relevant to the song, i dont know..hahaha

SEXY BACK by JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE turns me on...LOL

as you can see, i'm getting crappy
shall stop here and get some sleep...tatas!!

2006-08-24T15:24:00.000+08:00

The Day Before Today....

....was steamboat day!!! nope...not the fancy-expensive restaurant kind but the HOMEMADE kind..teehee..where? hostel...wahahaha yea..we have this once a week cookover at the hostel. But it's been weeks since we last cooked le...busy ma..So, food was great! the usual stuff u dump into the pool of soup..company was excellent!! Andy trying to be retarded..as always..*smiles* Viv was trying out some songs to sing for her audition on the 6sept..KBU ICON!! LOL first prize winner bags home RM500!!! and boy can she sing!!! All of us supporters will definitely be there!! by the way, Viv wants to join the Astro Talent Quest next year..hehehe *cun-ted*

wanted to go to murni but *bubu says *midnight only go le*
so late..can't la..but i miss the LOU SHI FAN goreng there..yummy!!
soon la...very soon!!! 3 more days to go then i'm FREEEEEEEEEEEE

i realised i'm very slow at trying to finish my current project..paint paint paint the whole day!! paint the stupid walls...so long somemore...sigh...sien...ate like a pig today..two breakfast as well as lunch..SAD CASE..thought i can control my appetite while i'm in the house..LOL i'm wrong..

monster looked at me up and down, side to side yesterday...thought he was admiring me or was gonna tell me something sweet..instead..i heard this..
*aaaiiiyoohh.....!! Look!! see how BIG your arms went??!!!*
Tiu.....i kno la...trying to control la...ish.. =)

2006-08-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday...., i shared my thoughts about *bubu online...and i figured out a few things that might have been the cause of our problems..well, the cause? turns out to be me..why or how , i really can't explain..it's just a silent knowledge that came to my mind. Oh well, whatever happens, happens right? not gonna think too much bout it anymore...

I'm very satisfied with my progress for my final work. I've been good and managed to finish up whatever i need to in time..hehehehe..not easy kayz..as i'm very much a procrastinator..HAhahaha can't wait for tomorrow!!! can get to cuddle with monster! Whee!!

Darling REEN told me yesterday that she and Cynthia started gym at FITNESS FIRST already..at first i damn semangat to go..but now..haiya..i can't move my body alot..maybe cos i've been sitting too much, doing work..hehehe I'll try to go le...REALLY..at least twice a week..hahaha * if seriously wanna tone up, twice a week not enough right? *

2006-08-21T23:06:00.000+08:00

YAY!!! Today was very progressive for me because i managed to touch up my canvas project..which took me about *counts fingers* ..5 HOURS!! wow..thats long..hehehe but i'm quite satisfied with the results..will post up a picture of it if i have the time. Meanwhile, i started the day by going to the studio..hehehe..considering the fact that i have no more classes,but still go studio..*whoa*. Then waited for viv and mojo..yanying as well..cos viv wanna rebond her hair in 1u..mojo and i went to watch PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN!! finally!!! we're like the last people to watch that movie!!! great movie!!! i love LOVE love johnny depp!! DA BOMB!! but the fighting scenes were a little bit too draggy for me..poor yanying had to accompany viv and sit her ass out in the very cold salon for 3 hours!! *clap hands* hahaha poor girl...somemore she's super skinny and pale...plus the cold and boredom..she looked so sad case..hehehe but cute!!

Those happy things aside...i do have something thats been troubling my mind recently.. it seems like *bubu(not his real name) and i can't have a decent conversation nowadays..we argue over the silliest things...by the way..*bubu is a really great friend and maybe something more than that..but not the boyfriend-girldfriend kind..we used to hang out alot and crap and laugh..but things changed now..not really sure why..but something definitely changed with the way we feel about each other as friends...it came to a point where i'm not sure if both of us could even TALK face to face...but whatever is it...of course i hope that we could at least try to communicate properly...*smiles*

Ahhh...sad sappy post..hehehe

2006-08-20T00:56:00.000+08:00

well...this is a new feel isn't it? i didnt particularly like the white color but thats okay...thats the main point of a change right? *smiles* Lets break down the events for me this coming week!

*its my consolidation week, which means i have to rush all my work and touch up some paintings for a possible A, which sad to say, i don't get for my drawing subjects..gotta buck up

*gotta finish a nearly impossible task...my final project for this semester but only have a limited time of 7 days to finish...confirm die...

That's my whole week and hopefully,i'll be able to get enough sleep and not over work myself like last semester.

my mind is momentarily blank...will be continued..